This is the novel I wrote to my friend Jake before he left. I honestly cannot fathom how I wrote that all, but in the end I actually can. I couldn’t stop writing because of all the memories and all of the things he has done for me as a person, as a friend, as a human being.
I feel obligated to speak up finally. I am bitter and frigid, I am sad and I want to feel wholesome again and it’s incredibly difficult and I don’t want to deal with anyone or anything. I just want to revert back to normal. I can’t have closure. Not yet.
Thanks a heap. I don’t know who you are, but thanks.
Trying to delete pictures off my camera cause they’ve been uploaded already, but I can’t seem to follow through because I don’t want to have closure on these memories. At least if they’re on my camera I can go back and look at them and remember the exact moment in time in which the picture was being taken. I can remember the smiles, the voices of my friends, the people in the background, and most of all I can remember how happy I was to be able to be there at that moment in time. It just sucks. It sucks, a lot.